Since opening up about my struggles with my mental health, you would not believe how many messages I’ve had from close friends, and people I barely know, basically saying me too. You hear the statistic of 1 in 4 but you never quite believe it. But when you open up about your own experiences you soon realise that there are a lot of us.
It is not the right time for some of them to be as open as myself. A year ago, I would never have dreamed of telling people apart from a few exceptions; in fact I lived in fear of someone finding out. But the reason I got help in the first place was from reading similar blogs that had been posted on Facebook. And so I have always told myself when I am well enough I will do the same thing and hopefully help some people myself. I am in no way recovered, I have a long way to go, but it has got to the point that it is just easier to be open. Mainly to avoid those awkward conversations with people who don’t know, and trying to explain why I’m not studying or working at the moment.
I was so nervous about starting this blog, but since opening up it’s like a huge weight has been lifted off. I don’t have to pretend that I am doing ok! I was also worried about people thinking nasty things about me, but I have come to the conclusion that if their attitudes towards mental health are so terrible, I can’t really trust what they think to be the truth. Plus I don’t think they would bother reading everything I write if the disagreed with me so strongly.
To those of you who are feeling guilty for not speaking out:
Don’t feel bad that you haven’t opened up yet. You will know when the time is right. Never do anything that will threaten your own wellbeing, because you are the most important person.